Close to you
by CSIJustMe
Summary: GS all the way. WIP. First fic ever, please review
1. Sitting down here

Close to you  
  
Author: CSIJustMe  
  
Disclaimer: not mine uhh uhh not one of 'em.  
  
AN: First one ever, be nice ( GS all the way!!!!!!  
  
Two hours after shift officially ended Gil Grissom trudged out of the CSI building towards his car. Although he was kept busy the shift was largely uneventful, waiting for DNA results on the hot cases, signing off on the completed cases and, only catching sight of Sara twice. The first time when he was handing out assignments and once again resisting the urge to pair himself with her, knowing that if he did he would either drive them into the desert and tell her everything or spontaneously combust. The second time he liked much better, she was in the layout room pouring over evidence and he simply stood at the door and watched, it felt like hours!  
  
He drove straight home, same as every other day, and like many in the last few weeks he couldn't bring himself to go inside. Instead he drove on.  
  
He found his favorite parking spot, turned off the engine and released a deep breath. He felt better already. "How can being here be more relaxing than than being in my own home, in my own bed". He already knew the answer. "I'm close to you" He glanced up at the window, leaned back and closed his eyes.  
  
Sara Sidle gathered everything together that she needed to do her laundry. Dirty clothes, change for the washing machine and dryer and detergent and. "Damn no softener" Sara briefly considered going without until she remembered how much her clothes smelt of death and how much nicer they felt with the softener. Sara knew that she should go grocery shopping but overtime this week meant that she had fallen behind on the regular household chores. The food could wait, she needed to do laundry today! She could get the softener in the 7/11 down the street. Grabbing her purse she ran out of the door.  
  
As she emerged Grissom's head shot up while he simultaneously cowered in his chair hoping that he would not be spotted. He seemed to be safe this time. He indulged himself in her presence for a few moments longer as he watched her make her way through the doors of the store. He knew that it was time to go. 


	2. wake up

Close to you   Chapter 2

At 1.15pm Sara finally crawled into bed, laundry done and shopping list made out.  Today had been surreal.  The disappointment of once again being assigned to work with anyone but him, being in some way balanced by the fact that she knew he had been watching her when she was in the layout room.  She knew that she should have called him on it, but she was too busy basking in his gaze and pretending to work.  It was now time for her regulation 4-5 hours sleep.

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It was 7.15 pm when Grissom woke to the sound of his cell phone.  His voice groggy with sleep  "uhhh hello"

"Gil, were you asleep"  Catherine's voice was gentle but with a definite smirk.

He lay his head back on the pillows  "It is one element of normal behavior that I have retained"

"Less than an hour before shift is due to start"

"wha…oh shit…um…I gotta go…ahhh…"

Catherine responded to his anxious mumbling with urgency before he hung up  "Gil…I called to remind you that I won't be in until 1am."

"unnnhhh?  Oh right, your sister is going out, yes you told me, I gotta go…see you later.

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Two new cases tonight a suicide for Warrick, and for everyone else a suspect B & E at the Mandalay Bay.  High profile so naturally the Sheriff and Carvallo were on his back too solve the case as soon as it came in.

Grissom was collecting pieces of broken glass from the floor of the suite's bathroom when Sara approached.  "humm glass in here is unusual, possible sign of struggle, and an attempted clean up by the look of it?  But why would there be signs of a struggle if our victim was out?"

"too many questions, lets find some answers…You look for something used to clean up the bigger pieces of glass."

The two CSI's parted and set about their specific tasks as Jim Brass approached them  "anything to catch your eye?" The question was directed towards Grissom.  "Maybe, but I'm saying nothing until it's over or the Sheriff will be up my ass."

"Point taken!  I got an inventory of what is missing from our esteemed guest over there.  Jewelry, a gift for his wife at home apparently, and a rolex that he forgot to put on before he went out for the evening. And of course $500 that he put in the drawer by the bed instead of the safe.  I gotta go interview housekeeping, talk to you later."

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At 4.45pm the next day the CSI's headed home having arrested the 'victim' for obstructing the law and the prostitute that he slept with for theft.  Warrick and Greg headed over to Nick's place to catch a college football game.  Catherine was met at the door by Lindsey.  Sara headed home to shower and sleep, and Grissom… he took up his usual position, across the street.  Close to her.  He knew that someday he would go inside, just not today, not yet.


	3. Dilemma

 Thanks for reviews.

The next shift saw Grissom, Catherine and Warrick investigating a murder in the up market Summerlin area of the city, while Sara and Nick reviewed their case for the preliminary hearing in two days.  Both very aware that whatever evidence they could present would be the reason, or lack thereof for this case to go to trial.

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Two hours after the shift ended Gil Grissom took his place close to her.  As he settled into his seat he noticed that as each day had passed the number of curious looks he got from the same passers-by increased, he chuckled to himself as he wondered what they thought of him.  He guessed they suspected that he was a cop on stake-out, or a hitman scouting his prey or…or…a stalker…Was he a stalker…no.  He was not a stalker, he did not watch her, her did not follow her, he did not send creepy letters or phone calls.  

"I just spend huge amounts of my time off sitting outside your apartment because I am more comfortable and at ease there than in my own home.  I sit her because I feel close to you; I sit here because being close to you…relaxes me… I just need to tell you."  He settled back in his chair, closing his eyes and enjoying the warmth of being close to her.  

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Sara Sidle grabbed her purse and shopping list from the kitchen counter as she left her apartment.  After she worked out her frustration from an entire night spent locked in the lab, on any germs co-habiting in her bathroom, she emerged for the task at hand.  Groceries.

 As she turned away from the main door of her apartment Sara caught a glimpse of what she thought was a familiar car, as she stepped closer to the car Sara was sure that the profile she saw behind the wheel was none other than her boss, who was without doubt fast asleep.  Why would he be asleep in his car outside her door? She thought to herself.  She questioned herself as to whether she should wake him now and interrogate him on his reasons for being there, but instead she decided that he looked way too cute when he was asleep, she was going to go shopping and decide what to do about 'him' while she was there.

As she strolled around the aisles picking up the various items that sustained her from week to week her mind wandered to the enigma that was parked outside her apartment.  She thought that she had seen his car there on a few occasions  in the last few weeks, but she put it down to the wishful thinking of an overactive imagination hoping that he was coming to ask if he was too late, hell he probably knew that it would never be too late…. Now she knew that it had to be him…was that the reason he was there…no, she would not allow here hopes to build again, not for him.  He was probably working, or just tired and pulled over.  "I need to know"

"Pardon dear"

"huh" Sara looked up to see an elderly lady eyeing her curiously. "oh sorry I…uh…just talking to myself, sorry."

The lady had already lost interest by the time Sara had mumbled out her apology and was once again consumed in her task of fishing cartons of milk from the back of the cooler.

Should she just go home, back to her apartment and ignore him, hoping that he would explain later?  Could she?  Maybe he would be standing outside her apartment, maybe he would be gone and this quandary would be moot.  Sara knew she needed to know why he was there.  She also knew that if Grissom didn't want her to know then she never would.  How would she find out?  She knew that the approach taught to her by Catherine Willows was her best option "More flies with honey".

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 Grissom awoke with a start, quickly realizing that he was still in his car and that someone was pounding on the window.  As he would down the window a starbucks cup appeared though from the outside closely followed by the head of Sara Sidle.

"Oh shit"  It slipped out before he came to his senses.

"Nice, I bring you coffee and you swear at me"

"Sorry Sara I didn't mean it that way, sorry, I'm just a little sore."

"That comes from sleeping in your car'

"I guess it does"

"So you gonna drink that there, or are you coming up to share the bagels too" she teased waggling her grocery bags"

"uuhhhhh…"


	4. lock up

Thanks for the reviews you guy's they are encouraging and much appreciated.

"ummmmm…ahhhhh"

"you gonna go quiet and play with your glasses now?"

He just looked up.  Startled.  "ohhh…a…no"

"Ok, so you coming up or do I lug these bags up by myself while you think about it."

"Bags, oh, I'll help you, yeah,let me help you."  He jumped out of the car moving to lift some of the bags. He stopped.  Guess it would be a good idea if I locked up the car.

"Only if you are staying a while"

"I guess I should lock up then"

Together they shared a genuine comfortable smile, their first for a long time.

A/N ok so it is too short, but the temptation to end on this cliffhanger is too much!

Should the story end here?  Do I follow them upstairs? You decide…


	5. Why?

Sorry I took so long.  I had the last part in my head, but never really thought about how they would approach this part.

"One sugar?"

"Yeah"

"uhh, where do you keep your sugar"

"oh, in that cupboard by your head"  Sara called out as she unloaded most of her shopping into the refrigerator.  She was pleasantly surprised that Grissom knew how she liked her coffee, although she was mildly embarrassed that she had been so distracted about what she was going to say to him that she had failed to do all of this while she was in Starbucks.

Grissom handed her the now favorably altered coffee as she finished unloading her bag.

"Thanks"

"What else could I do when you were good enough to buy it in the first place"

Neither of them new what to say next and an uncomfortable silence ensued with both maintaining eye contact with their coffee cup.  Sara was disappointed in herself as she had pulled off the confident approach at his car, but now that she had him in her domain she felt tongue tied.  Time for that to change.

Sara lifted her head and made off in the direction of the couch.

"you coming over?"  

"yeah, sorry" He chucked softly to himself.

"So…?"

"So…what?"  He smiled up at her as they both knew that he was avoiding the question.  He wasn't going to get away with it this time, and he knew it.

With a typical Sidle smile on her face Sara asked.  "So…Why were you asleep outside my apartment."

"ahhh…I didn't mean to fall asleep, I guess the hours that we worked on the case got to me a little."

"what were you doing outside my apartment"

"sitting"

Sara always knew that he could be cryptic and enigmatic, so with a voice dripping with sugar sweet sarcasm "why?"

OK cruel place to end. I will update soon.


	6. revelations

Told you I would update soon!

"Why?"

"uhhhh"

"Why?"

"Uhhhh"

"Wh…"

"I was gonna come see you… uh, but… you were out!"

"You were asleep down there before I went out!"

"I was, ohh… ok."

"You didn't check if I was out or not!"

"You're right, I didn't, I just needed to get my head together first… and I guess I fell asleep."

"Getting your head together?  For what?"

He exhaled a loud breath.  "Sara" his tone was pleading.

Sara felt her resolve weakening, but she had to know.  "For what Grissom?"

"I don't know"

"What about all those other days?  Were you getting your head together then too."

Grissom felt that he had been punched.  "You saw me?"

"I noticed a car like yours… I just didn't know if it was you for sure…until today, that is."

"Oh"  What was left to say to her?  He again exhaled loudly. "I…I…I come to relax…before I go home."

"What?"  Did she hear him right?  "You come sit outside my apartment to relax?"

"Uhh yeah."  He had never felt more sheepish in his life.  Time to explain.  "Ok, for some people looking at fish swimming in a tank, or a waterfall, or sports help them to relax.  I come here."

"What's so special about here.?"

He had never been asked an easier question in his life, he answered immediately "You"

Sara became a little bemused, like 'since I met you' she had another Grissom zinger to deal with.  What did this one mean?  He felt relaxed around here?   "You don't exactly give the impression of being relaxed at work you know"

He again chuckled to himself.  "I'm not relaxed at work, out there, here, isn't work."

"I don't know what you mean"

"I can't relax around you at work, it's too dangerous.  I mean, I need to be on guard from myself, if I felt relaxed, I could loose control, I might do something…compromising!"

"Compromising… like what?"

"Like all the things that I think about when I see you.  Things that when I am relaxed I wouldn't question.  Things that could destroy our careers."

Sara was beginning to become frustrated by the lack of clarity in his answers.  She raised her voice a little.  "Things?  Grissom, what things"

"When you asked me to dinner, I wasn't ready to relax outside of work…There were still elements that I could not control…They are no longer an issue.  Now…now… life outside of work… It's impossible to relax without you there."

"I don't get it Grissom.  You couldn't have dinner with me because weren't in control of something, now you are so you sit outside my place."

"It sounds pretty lame when you say it like that."

"What's changed?  Why didn't you tell me when it did?"

"What's changed is that I won't drag you down now.  Why didn't I tell you?  I don't know!  Fear I guess."

Sara's exasperation was pushing her ever closer to tears of frustration.  "Fear of what Grissom?  Having dinner with me?"

He could feel her frustration, he couldn't bear to see her cry because of him.  "Lot's of reasons Sara.  Fear of what could be. Fear of not meeting your expectations.  Fear of having misunderstood your intentions.  Fear of being TOO LATE." 

TBC  more v.v. soon


	7. resolutions

AN: ok so this took waaayyyy longer than I expected.  Very sorry!

Three weeks later

Grissom pulled into the parking spot that he had long since claimed as his own, before he exited he sat in quiet contemplation of the many times he had sat there, and how different his more recent trips were to those that went before.  Today however would, he hoped, be the first time since the day his life changed that his car would sit here while he slept.  Every day of the past 3 weeks their relationship took a new step, and everyday it became harder to pull away.  Today he would not pull away.

As he turned the key in the lock he could already smell the aroma of dinner.

"Hey" She said without turning around.

"Hi, something smells nice!"  He wrapped his arms around her from behind and buried his face in her neck "someone smells nice too!"

She pulled away and assumed her confrontational stance.  "Yeah well I seemed to have a lot of time on my hands today considering I had 2 days to work on a B&E while everyone else saw at least one body in that time."

"So did you have a bath?  What oils did you use?"

"Am I talking to a wall or did you misunderstand what I said?"

Grissom was now on the defensive  "I understood you completely Sara, I…I just didn't think that you would want to get into this now… it's a work thing."

"are you doing it for personal reasons…I…I thought we understood the where, when and how much we could relax.  Why did I get the bum case to work on, God there was nothing for me to do."

"Sara you got that case for two days because overtime is being monitored again and if you had one extra hour you would be put on lab duty for a week, I couldn't risk you getting a hot case because you are too good at your job to lose you for a week.  Not because I didn't want to work with you, but because I do…I could never not want to work with you." 

A statement that started with frustration ended with a shy smile and blushing cheeks as Grissom followed his statement with a thorough inspection of his shoes.  Sara's own expression changed as he spoke as she now observed him.  She approached him softly bending her knees so that she could look in his eyes

"Good answer!"  She launched a beaming smile in his direction.  Grissom relaxed considerably.  She lent into him  "besides, it did give me extra time to cook and have an amazing bubble bath."

"Well its nice to know that my efforts weren't in vain then"  She leaned in for a slow sensual kiss.  "Your efforts are never in vain, believe me" 

"and what is that supposed to mean Miss Sidle"

"You really know how to tease a girl you know"

"Just trying to heighten anticipation"

"exactly my point, trust me anticipation is heightened."

"Oh well that is a relief then."  He wrapped his arms firmly around he waist  "Cause I brought all of these and thought we could see what worked best"

From his numerous jacket pockets grissom pulled the largest array of contraceptive product that she had ever seen outside of a drugs store.  His grin was infectious. 

"These should last to the morning at least…right"

THE END

AN:  Sorry guy's I am still a little nervous of writing the ship while remaining in character.


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